Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sorry Sisters
So most people that know me know that I travel a lot with my job. During one of my many trips driving the PA Turnpike I have to stop at a rest stop to use the facilities and get a coffee so naturaly I carry my wallet in with me. I decide to use the restroom first...I try to do a balancing act with my wallet and my keys on the handrail in the restroom but much to my frustration my wallet and keys fall and hit the restroom floor....yucky...in a public restroom and out of my frustration comes the words pretty loudly..."Son of a B#*@" ....I come out of the stall looking down for more loose change and look up to the long line of ladies waiting and it was seven....yes seven nuns!!! The look on my face must of been priceless...I just said ''ooo sorry sisters"....didn't even wash my hands or get coffee. The last nun in line was the youngest one...she was chuckling....Just another day on the road. Next time...we will talk about the old farmer that wouldn't let me out of his house.....
My Adventure one icy morning....
So my morning started out at 7:40 am....called the office to see how the roads were...main roads just slushy even though all I could see was a solid sheet of ice on everything. So I decided I needed to warm up my
car to get the ice from the windshield because I don't have an ice scrapper (remember Donna?) I open my patio door walked out and boom...down I go on my pudgy butt..(thank God for the pudgy today)..it comes in handy later. Finally looking like a toddler who is learning to walk I make it to the car. Door is frozen shut. So I give it a good tug..lose my footing again and left leg goes under the car. So if you can picture it I am doing somewhat of a split. My groin is never going to be the same. After a few minutes I start down the driveway...I see the butt end of the car beside me...do a complete circle. Kind of come to a stop then start sliding backwards and somewhat sideways all the way down to my neighbors mailbox backwards before coming to a stop (a good 50 yards). I cannot go anywhere. I am sitting and spinning in the middle of the road. So I think I will walk up to mom & dads and get some ashes to put under the car and get to work...put the 4ways on..open car door step out..boom down I go again on my knees. The more I try to move forward the further backwards I go. Crawling I finally make it to the snow. Ah ha..I can get my footing. However, I have to cross this ice ridden road two more times to get to my parents. (Apparently my mother was watching all of this....) so...first trip across the road wasn't too bad. I only did one more split but didn't fall but I felt every tendon in my knees pulling among other places. Walk up thru the yard. I have to go across the driveway again to get my ashes. So in the mean time I have my yogurt in my pocket that I always eat for breakfast at work. I go in to moms call the office. Decide to venture out again. I step out on moms wooden steps. That pudgy butt came in handy again. I think dear God how am I going to carry a heavy bucket of ashes all the way down there....I try to cross the drive way again..(this is very steep) One more bounce on my butt, crawling on my hands and knees and scooching on my butt I finally get over
there. I get my bucket of ashes and decide it will be easier to walk down thru the yard because I can get footing in the snow. Well if you knew how steep my yard was...The bucket was heavy..I set it down just for
a second...it starts to slide down the hill I try to catch it upset it and my ashes get scattered all over my yard while I watched the ash bucket spin its way down. By now I am pissed. So I venture down because
my mom has called the neighbor and he is down there. I slip and fall again...try to get up on a steep icy hill is impossible..slide all the way down on my big fat belly backwards praying that I don't hit one of my trees because my groin cant take much more and I have my good black wool coat on...remember the yogurt in my pocket? So we get the car out of the middle of the road. I do the crazy slipping walk back up the
hill..basically crawled on my hands and knees...called the office..not coming in. this is nuts. So I need to get to my own house to do laundry...i have to cross that #$%^ driveway again. It happened all over again..right before I started typing this ...everytime I would take a step across I would slide down. I eventually learned that if I throw myself - you know kind of dive and just grab at anything to keep from sliding downhill..I do this and Mikey(my dog) thinks I am playing. By the way...my groin really hurts...so I get more firewood in while I am out there and dirty..coming up the basement steps I reach in my pocket to get the yogurt out .....yep you guessed it..busted open and squirted all thru my pocket....I feel like I had not one but three aerobic workouts..learned how to do splits..need a chiropractor, have bruised knees and we are getting more tonight!!! AND to top it off all my mom was worried about was that I didn't have a hat on my head while I was out there. Just puts things in perspective....
Ang
car to get the ice from the windshield because I don't have an ice scrapper (remember Donna?) I open my patio door walked out and boom...down I go on my pudgy butt..(thank God for the pudgy today)..it comes in handy later. Finally looking like a toddler who is learning to walk I make it to the car. Door is frozen shut. So I give it a good tug..lose my footing again and left leg goes under the car. So if you can picture it I am doing somewhat of a split. My groin is never going to be the same. After a few minutes I start down the driveway...I see the butt end of the car beside me...do a complete circle. Kind of come to a stop then start sliding backwards and somewhat sideways all the way down to my neighbors mailbox backwards before coming to a stop (a good 50 yards). I cannot go anywhere. I am sitting and spinning in the middle of the road. So I think I will walk up to mom & dads and get some ashes to put under the car and get to work...put the 4ways on..open car door step out..boom down I go again on my knees. The more I try to move forward the further backwards I go. Crawling I finally make it to the snow. Ah ha..I can get my footing. However, I have to cross this ice ridden road two more times to get to my parents. (Apparently my mother was watching all of this....) so...first trip across the road wasn't too bad. I only did one more split but didn't fall but I felt every tendon in my knees pulling among other places. Walk up thru the yard. I have to go across the driveway again to get my ashes. So in the mean time I have my yogurt in my pocket that I always eat for breakfast at work. I go in to moms call the office. Decide to venture out again. I step out on moms wooden steps. That pudgy butt came in handy again. I think dear God how am I going to carry a heavy bucket of ashes all the way down there....I try to cross the drive way again..(this is very steep) One more bounce on my butt, crawling on my hands and knees and scooching on my butt I finally get over
there. I get my bucket of ashes and decide it will be easier to walk down thru the yard because I can get footing in the snow. Well if you knew how steep my yard was...The bucket was heavy..I set it down just for
a second...it starts to slide down the hill I try to catch it upset it and my ashes get scattered all over my yard while I watched the ash bucket spin its way down. By now I am pissed. So I venture down because
my mom has called the neighbor and he is down there. I slip and fall again...try to get up on a steep icy hill is impossible..slide all the way down on my big fat belly backwards praying that I don't hit one of my trees because my groin cant take much more and I have my good black wool coat on...remember the yogurt in my pocket? So we get the car out of the middle of the road. I do the crazy slipping walk back up the
hill..basically crawled on my hands and knees...called the office..not coming in. this is nuts. So I need to get to my own house to do laundry...i have to cross that #$%^ driveway again. It happened all over again..right before I started typing this ...everytime I would take a step across I would slide down. I eventually learned that if I throw myself - you know kind of dive and just grab at anything to keep from sliding downhill..I do this and Mikey(my dog) thinks I am playing. By the way...my groin really hurts...so I get more firewood in while I am out there and dirty..coming up the basement steps I reach in my pocket to get the yogurt out .....yep you guessed it..busted open and squirted all thru my pocket....I feel like I had not one but three aerobic workouts..learned how to do splits..need a chiropractor, have bruised knees and we are getting more tonight!!! AND to top it off all my mom was worried about was that I didn't have a hat on my head while I was out there. Just puts things in perspective....
Ang
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